Nathan and Haley are taking turns playing house both in her room and his apartment. Nathan doesn't like sleeping alone at his place because it's lonely and also because Tim likes to throw parties with random people he doesn't know there. Haley then has a *brilliant* idea; they should throw a low-key get together take-back-the-party-party! Oh, sweet Haley James. A great idea in theory, a messy one in execution. 

Lucas is back at basketball practice for the first time since his spleen surgery. He keeps missing shots, probably a metaphor for his life at the moment as well. After Peyton and Brooke trade insults once again at school, Peyton gives up and decides she's done trying to reason with B. She asks Lucas if he wants to go to Haley's party with her, and he says yes. 

Brooke is on a warpath this episode and I can't say that I condone her behavior nor do I blame her for how she feels. When she learns about the party at Nate's place, she asks Hales about it, who tells her that it's only going to be a few people. Ugh. Haley James. Brooke Davis IS your friend! But I get what Haley is trying to do here, because right now she's closer with Peyton and wants Lucas to come and doesn't want the messiness that is inevitably going to ensue to happen, so she's covering her own butt. Too bad Brooke Davis doesn't take snubbing kindly. 

Dan is being an asshole (big surprise there!) and shows up at Nathan's apartment uninvited one night when he finds out that Nate sold the car he bought him to support himself. He demands that either Nathan come back home to live with him and keep the money, or he must pay him the money and can continue living alone. Nathan writes him a big ole check, and then goes to the mall the next day to find a job. He begins working with a guy named Gary at the pretzel stand! He has to wear a goofy hat! He's real bad at making pretzels, but I'm so proud of Nathan here for trying his best. 

Keith is looking for a new job and has an interview to be a shop teacher at a school in Charleston. Karen is visibly disappointed, but is supportive anyway and gives him a new tie to wear to his interview. It goes well! And it looks like Keith is gonna be taking some time away from Tree Hill. Honestly, everyone should. So much bad shit happens here, y'all. It'd be really beneficial to everyone if they left.

Brooke is super pissed about no longer being the desired, popular girl so she goes to her favorite bar (I'm still wondering how she gets into this place, I know she has a fake ID but Tree Hill is a small town and everyone has to know everyone, right?) and runs into everyone's favorite Eyeliner Whore, Nikki. They're both drinking and they begin bonding about their sucky lives. Brooke knows that Nikki is Jake's ex, but she doesn't know that she is the infamous Bar Slut. The two of them decide to wreak havoc on Haley's party. Just a thought here: Nikki is REALLY proving herself to be an unequipped mother. She's at the bar all the time and takes a high schooler under her wing to crash a high school party. If she was really concerned with just getting Jenny back and not ruining Jake's life, she wouldn't be doing any of this childish shit.

Dan visits Nathan at work because he knows where he is at all times prior to Find My iPhone, and embarrasses in front of his redheaded boss Gary. Nathan tells Gary about how awful Dan is, and how he's sorry that he was mean to him at school but that he's trying to change for the better. They start to get along, but Nathan soon learns that the closing dude called in so he has to stay and help Gary clean up, which means he's going to miss his own party. 

At said party, Brooke and Nikki show up already wasted and out for revenge. They're drinking vodka straight from the bottle, which is so gross. Everyone is trying to steer clear of them until Nikki and Peyton start insulting one another to the point where Nikki shoves Peyton into the wall. A fight breaks out and Nikki throws a stool through the window (?) and Lucas and Brooke literally have to pry these two apart. Brooke has the realization that a cat fight is not what she wanted, and that Eyeliner Whore is a psycho bitch. Lucas tells Nikki to leave, and at this point she's got nothing left to lose so she exposes Lucas for sleeping with her. Peyton and Brooke are shocked to learn that Nikki is the Bar Slut and they both leave wanting nothing to do with him. 

Nathan gets home at the exact moment the cops decide to arrive and give him a fine for the noise, underage drinking, and damages to the apartment. Lucas tries to defend him (awww brotherly love) and say that he wasn't even present for the party, but the cop doesn't care. Nathan is still kind of a tool at this point, so he fires back some sarcastic comments at the officer who then arrests him. Okay, so things escalate pretty damn quickly here. Haley's a mess, Lucas is trying to help and not piss anymore people off, and oh, did I mention that Dan and Deb hooked up whilst separating their things so the divorce can finally happen? Yeah, those two had sex and it's something we definitely didn't need.

Dan bails Nathan out of jail, and tells him what a failure he is all the while Lucas stands up for him. Dan decides to be an asshole to both of his sons and tells off Lucas as well, telling him that he doesn't know everything about what happened between him and Karen and that he should shut his mouth. Lucas takes Nathan and Haley home, and the only reason I like this part is because the Scott brothers are finally almost friends.

Brooke comes to see Peyton and the two of them call a truce. I think they both realize that what's going on with them isn't worth it anymore. Peyton asks if they're friends again, to which Brooke answers that she doesn't know, but she does know that they aren't enemies anymore. I'm so happy B. Davis and P. Sawyer are on the same team again. 

Favorite line: "It just hurts so much worse when you expect more from somebody." Brooke to Peyton about Lucas, but we all know she's talking about how she expected more from her BFF.
Cringey-est moment: When Deb is all like, "What do you want Dan?" and he's all like, "I want you!" and then they make out and I want to rip my eyes out so I don't have to watch them do the dirty.
Worst secret keeper: Nikki! Last episode she begged Lucas to keep their hookup and secret and then this episode she's all like, "I can keep a secret too." whilst exposing said secret. This bitch is nuts.
Random Observation: Dan looks way older than whatever age he is supposed to be and it's driving me crazy. He's supposed to be like 34 and he looks 44. I can't handle it. 

Next time: It's almost the season finale so you know what that means! A baby gets kidnapped! Also, give me your thoughts on Nikki and Brooke's vodka drinking friendship? And the truce she and Peyton call? Are we all agreeing to ship Peyton and Jake until Lucas gets his shit together?

XOXO,
Em

We pick up directly where we left off last episode to a very emotional and vulnerable Brooke Davis confronting Lucas about the fact that she might be pregnant because she is very, very late. He reacts like I suspect most teenage boys would, he's flustered and kind of defensive, but also trying to be supportive. He takes her to the drug store to get a test (because she hasn't taken one yet) and back at her house, she reveals that it's positive.

Keith is still standing in Karen's doorway professing his love for her. He shows her the engagement ring and asks her to marry him. She turns him down, saying that Italy changed her perspective on things and she has realized that there is more out there for her. Booooooo.

Sophia Bush's acting in this episode is superb. As she shows Lucas the positive pregnancy test, she breaks down in tears and pushes his supportive hand off of her. He takes her to the women's clinic the next morning and Dan Scott sees them outside as he drives by. He laughs to himself because he's an evil son of a bitch. He later confronts Lucas and tells him that he asked Karen to have an abortion and that she was "too emotional" and that he should consider asking "that girl" (being Brooke) to do the same. Guys, I cannot stress this enough, Dan Scott is the worst.

Nikki is still here for some reason and tries to see Jenny, but luckily Peyton is over helping out Jake and is able to keep her away. Eyeliner Whore makes me so uncomfortable. She's always just popping up and making herself at home. She picks up a picture of the basketball team and recognizes Lucas instantly.

Haley goes to Nathan's to wake him up for school and he notices her '23' tramp stamp. He doesn't say anything then, but later he addresses it, saying that it confuses him that she's willing to get something that permanent but won't have sex with him. Yikes. We are going into unfair territory. Haley tells him that those two things are not the same, and that she's just not ready for sex yet. This is so messy! The pressures of sex are insane, so of course Haley is going to be hesitant, plus her boyfriend has slept with one of her closest friends, is related to her best friend, and is a notorious player. Then again, she did just get his basketball number tattooed above her ass. But she's young! And in love!

Peyton tells Haley that by saying how head over heels she is for him, she's already a lot farther into the relationship than her and Nathan ever got while they were dating. Haley James, here's my advice: do what's right for you. Do not succumb to the pressure but also don't not do something out of fear and fear alone. 

Brooke and Lucas get into a heated argument at school where he calls her out for sleeping with multiple guys. Dick move, Luke. She gets a call from the doctor who confirms that she's pregnant, and she runs off telling Lucas to leave her alone. 

Lucas tells Karen about Brooke, and she SLAPS him!!! She immediately apologizes, but is still freaking out because she wanted better for him than what she had, and she's so scared for his future. Karen is having a rough week because later Keith comes over and basically says that because she turned down his marriage proposal he's going to leave Tree Hill. At the end of the episode he heads to a pawn shop to sell the ring. 

Nathan and Haley are in a really awkward situation, with neither one of them wanting to step on the other's toes when it comes to sex. While discussing the importance of their relationship and Nathan still wrapping his head around the fact that level-headed Haley got a part of him tattooed onto herself, he confesses that he is in love with her. She says she loves him too, and it's about damn time because she's practically told everyone else but him. They kiss and it's super sweet and they still don't have sex and that is okay!

Nikki visits Lucas and asks him not to tell Jake that they slept together because she's trying to get her family back together. For the first time, she is actually acting human and she's not wearing too much eyeliner. It's so hard to take, though, because she doesn't really deserve the life she wants to have, and even if she did, there's just no chance she's getting it back. She creepily stares at Jake, Peyton, and Jenny through their window in the dark and I get chills because she's crazy.

Lucas goes over to Brooke's to talk to her about all of his newfound realizations about how he came to be and the father he wants to be, and she is forced to finally come clean; she isn't pregnant. She lied. The test WAS positive, but when the doctor called he said it was a false alarm. Lucas is rightfully pissed that she lied to him about something so life changing, but I can't help but feel for Brooke as she explains herself. When the doctor called, Lucas had just slut shamed her and made her feel, once again, unloveable and inadequate. Should she have lied? No. But watching her hold herself sobbing at the end of the episode just makes my heart break. We have all been there, Brooke Davis. Your pain is felt and known. 

Favorite line: "In the end, it all hurts just the same." Brooke to Lucas after he says that he never meant to hurt her. This line made me tear up, because it's so unbelievably true. 
Important moment: First "I love you" exchanged by Naley!
Random Observation: Deb is annoying the hell out of me because whenever she talks she sounds like a whiny baby. I feel like I needed to let this be known.

Next time: There's a party! And parties always go over so well! 

XOXO,
Em

Tree Hill High is a weird place where they auction off their basketball players for charity. And guess what? People pay GOOD money for these teenage boys. I mean, I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy watching Jake Jagielski fake strip in a Ravens costume or watching Nathan Scott for real strip across the stage, but the principle of the thing is so odd. But it leads to some really good interactions between characters that don't spend nearly enough time together, so I guess it's okay?

At the auction, Brooke is upset because she didn't bring cash, and the event is strictly cash only. There are only four boys left; Tim, Jake, Lucas, and Nathan. Nobody wants Tim, because he's Tim, so Deb pays 8 dollars to have him do some chores around her house. However, the way she phrases things (like how dirty he's going to get) makes it sound like she bought him for sex. Yikes.

Peyton wants to bid on Jake, but she only has 87 dollars and 53 cents and is outbid by a random voice in the crowd. Haley doesn't bid on Nathan ("I get him for free!") and instead goes for Lucas, because she hasn't been able to spend much time with him lately. She wins him, but is second guessing herself when she sees her boyfriend totally play up the whole strip tease theme of the auction, and becomes nervous that some random girl is going to try to hook up with him. She begs Peyton to bid on him, and even gives her money to do so. What's worse? Leaving your boyfriend with a random girl or his ex-girlfriend? Peyton is the highest bidder, and Brooke stumbles in just as the auction is coming to a close. When people start bidding on Mouth, who was just helping with the mics, she pays 200 dollars upfront for him. 

Brooke is disappointed that nobody wants to switch boy toys with her, as she had an entire night planned to make herself feel better after the whole Lucas situation. However, when she sees how sad Mouth looks because he won't actually be getting a date, she decides to hang out with him anyway, and takes him to a strip club. They're supposed to be like, 16/17 right? Am I reading too much into this being weird? Probably. Anyways, their friendship eventually turns into something really special.

Jake's bidder turns out to be his baby mama, Nikki, or as Haley calls her "Bar Slut" or as I refer to her "Eyeliner Whore". Doesn't matter what you call her, she's the worst. She tells Jake how sorry she is that she left Jenny behind, but that she was scared of being a mother and didn't think she was ready. Nikki, my not friend, you had nine months to prepare! She wants to be back in Jake and Jenny's lives, but he is not into it. Jake Jagielski, you are a good man.

​Nathan takes Peyton to his new apartment and informs her that he is officially newly emancipated. They talk on his bed (he doesn't have any furniture yet) and then check out the apartment complex's pool. There's some mild flirting, and then Nate does a sneak attack and jumps into the pool with Peyton in tow. You see, because I know how the series ends and because we only saw them as a couple for like three episodes, this doesn't bother me at all. They're forming a cute friendship and discuss all the ways they didn't work as a couple. And Nathan makes it clear that he's trying to be a better dude for Haley because it's what she deserves. 

Lucas and Haley are back on the roof of the cafe like old times, and they begin to have a water (and milk) balloon fight like a couple of 10 year olds. We really don't get to see them interact much anymore unless they're yelling at each other, so I love this scene because it's wholesome and adorable. Everything comes to a halt though when Lucas notices something on Haley's lower back (cough, tramp stamp, cough). She tries to brush it off, but it's so clearly a tattoo that she must come clean. She got Nathan's basketball number, 23, tattooed on her. Haley James! What are you doing? Turns out, she doesn't really know what she's doing, she just knows that she's completely and hopelessly in love. I'm giving her a pass because that feeling is brutal and we've all been there.

Lucas doesn't give her a pass though, and starts freaking out. She insists that Nathan doesn't even know about the tattoo, or that she loves him, and that she just kind of did it. He accepts this answer and decides to be supportive, except for when they head over to Nathan's apartment and he sees Nate giving Peyton her "midnight kiss" (it's part of the auction rules). Lucas mistakes it for a real kiss, even after him and Haley give each other a quick peck to adhere to the rules. He drops Haley off at home instead, and tells her that he will always be there for her. It's sweet, but also, a total and complete misunderstanding!

When Tim arrives at the Scott residence and Deb calls out that she's in the bath, he mistakes that for "it's sex time!" and strips down to just an unfortunate cheetah print speedo. When they both realize the misunderstanding, Deb rushes to help Tim get dressed, but Dan Scott chooses that moment to walk through the door, catching Deb and Tim in a compromising position. "The lawyers are gonna love this," he says as he shuts the door. What did you come here for, Dan!?! Go back to your f'ing beach house!

Mouth thanks Brooke for giving him the best night of his life, but she has become sad and mopey and unlike herself. She is quiet and sad, and despite how many times Mouth explains that Lucas is a good guy who probably just messed up, she cries and looks off like she knows something we don't. She visits the River Court and approaches Lucas with those same tears in her eyes and reveals to him that she thinks she might be pregnant. Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no.

Oh, and in other news, Karen and Larry go on a date and then Keith asks Karen to marry him. Weird shit. Stay tuned for her answer.

Favorite line: Nathan, "Alright, let's get this over with." Peyton to Haley, "Funny, that's what he used to say before we had sex." Cue a very scared look on Haley's face and a smile on Peyton's. Too funny.
Best friendship: Three-way-tie between Haley and Lucas, Brooke and Mouth, and Nathan and Peyton. 
Character I want to go away: Nikki. She is serving no purpose here. 
Drama that I don't have time for: Brooke thinking she's pregnant. Spoiler alert: She ain't.
Random Observation: Everything Deb says to Tim is insanely sexual. Literally everything. Down to her calling him "Timmy".

What do you think of Haley's tattoo? Is Jake wrong for not wanting Nikki in his and Jenny's lives? Do you prefer the nickname 'Bar Slut' or 'Eyeliner Whore'? Did you really think Brooke was preggers? Tell me in the comments!

XOXO,
Em

It's the basketball and cheerleading classic! I don't know what either of those things mean and I'm like 95% sure they were fabricated for the sake of the show, but I don't care! Side note: How many times can they possibly reiterate that the cheerleading one is sponsored by Spirit (as in the deodorant)? Seriously. So many times.

Haley and Lucas are back to being BFFs and so she's going on the trip too so that all of our main characters are together. Luke gets upset because she chooses to ride with Nate on the way there, but like ??? I get it and I don't. She wants to ride with her boyfriend! But also she's in quite the pickle with having to seemingly choose between the two Scott boys at all times.

Brooke is leading the team before their competition, and we get our first introduction to Bevin! Bevin's a fav, you guys. I did not realize it took almost an entire season to introduce her, but I'm so happy she is finally here! She has so many great moments, and fits into the Tree Hill madness great.

Brooke and Peyton are still not getting along, and why would they? Bitch Davis's number one enemy is not P. Sawyer, though. Instead it is some chick on the Bear Creek Warriors cheer squad who is a snotface. Brooke is determined not to let them win for the 5th year in a row, but her plans are kinda shattered when Teresa comes down with the chicken pox. Peyton is up Brooke's butt trying to save the day and be her BFF again, but Brooke just isn't buying it. She has a heart to heart with Karen, who is chaperoning alone with Pey's daddy, which is really super sweet.

Elsewhere, Lucas and Nathan are sharing a room because Whitey loves to create chaos, and he's also having Luke coach Nate while he's injured. These two are still not getting along and it's hindered even more by the fact that Lucas believes that Nathan is ruining Haley and taking her away from him and stealing her precious innocence or something. The jealously here is both understandable and really odd to me. I'd love to know everyone else's thoughts.

Peyton somehow convinces Haley to fill in for Teresa (what a great coincidence that she came on the trip, y'all) and Brooke rallies the team to practice late at night per the permission of Karen. The boys go out to a strip club that Tim found, but turns out it's ladies' night so they get to enjoy the presence of some male strippers. Jake Jagielski tells Lucas all about his baby mama drama, but unbeknownst to Luke, the woman he's talking about is Nikki. Boy, is he in for a rude awakening. Mouth is also on the trip (I guess for his radio show) and is spying on the Bear Creek Warriors for Brooke (an underrated friendship). He shows Brooke the routine that the Warriors are doing and encourages the Ravens to step it up. Brooke creates an entirely new routine with the addition of Haley, while Peyton finds new music to go with the choreography. 

When the boys get back to the hotel, they hop in the pool with the cheerleaders and Haley shows off her new cheerleading outfit to Lucas and explains how she's helping the team out. He tells her that she looks ridiculous, which is mean, and she asks why he won't let her have any gosh dang fun! He tells her that she's not being herself. I call so much bullshit. Haley has always been a fun-loving, free-spirited gal and dating Nathan has not changed that. Lucas just doesn't like that the new world he's apart of is colliding with Haley's.

Back in Tree Hill, Dan is now Keith's boss because of the medical bills Keith paid and things are going rough. Dan sucks as a person and as a boss so Keith quits. That's it. That's the storyline.

The Raven cheerleaders perform and do a great job...waving their arms around, I guess? I don't really understand this whole competition, but it's worth it to see Nathan and Haley embrace at the end and him look at her with such admiration. They don't win, and the Battle Creek Bitches do, but Brooke wins best choreography, so that's something. Afterward, she reminds Peyton that although she pulled through this weekend, they are still not friends. I have Brooke's back on this, and here's why: What Peyton and Lucas did to her was really fucked up, and it can't be fixed by a weekend of cheerleading. That's just not how life works. Peyton goes into this whole thing about how she's going to keep being Brooke's friend, but honestly I think she needs to give B. Davis a little bit of space.

The basketball game goes really well for the Ravens as they win Whitey his 500th game! Nathan makes the winning shot, and Lucas is actually happy for him! Luke, Nate, and Haley all talk before heading home and it's only semi-awkward. Nathan looks around as parents embrace their children, looking both grateful and sad that neither of his are there.

Larry and Karen are flirting it up back at the Cafe, and Nathan moves into his new apartment. Brooke sits at her vanity looking at a picture of her, Lucas, and Peyton before deciding to tear it up. She then breaks down into tears. Oh, Brooke Davis. It's all going to be okay.

Favorite line: "You do know that both of your ex-girlfriends were also cheerleaders?" Haley to Luke after he calls her ridiculous. 
Cutest moment: Haley jumping into Nathan's arms after cheering with the Ravens.
Weirdest pairing: Karen and Larry. No thanks.
Random Observation: I don't love the whole pitting girls against each other vibe of the cheerleading competition. It's really nasty and kind of unwatchable. I do love the bonding of the Raven girls, though. They're a fun group.

So what do we think about Karen and Larry? Also, what was up with Keith this episode? If you were Haley, what would you do in her complicated situation? Tell me! In the comments! Please!

Next up: The Boy Toy auction which is kinda sexist and really weird! Woo hoo!

XOXO,
Em

The Brooke and Peyton drama is in full swing as Brooke sticks to her promise of not speaking to her former BFF. She walks right past her at school with a look of absolute stone cold bitchiness on her face. I can't say that Peyton doesn't deserve it. 

Jake Jagielski (!!!) is back and asks Peyton for a favor. He has a wedding to go to and needs a babysitter for little Jenny. Peyton obliges and Jake gives her the nod ("He gave her the nod!") and walks away with a big ole smile on his face. Sometimes I wonder if Peyton and Jake were robbed, folks. And then I remember that the two broody blondes (Pey and Luke) definitely deserved one another more in the end. Nobody else was gonna put up with their stupid asses.

Nathan is living with Dan at the moment, which seems like zero fun to me but to each their own. Nate's running late to school everyday since I guess the beach house is further away from school, so Dan solves the problem with the most logical solution ever; a brand new car. There's nothing like a father buying his son's love. 

Meanwhile, Haley really wants Sheryl Crow tickets, which is kind of a cool and normal subplot with all the craziness going on with everyone else's lives. Lucas is frustrated big time because he can't play basketball, physical therapy isn't help, he's an asshole, and both his girlfriends aren't speaking to him. Bitch Davis has a great encounter with him in the hallway where she tells him how stupid he is, and he just looks at her, dumbfounded.

Lucas, Haley, and Karen all have dinner together for the first time since probably the first episode and while they're all joking around and having a good time, Lucas decides to be the worst and explode on the two of them and then storm off to the bar. LUCAS. You suck right now! He uses the fake ID Brooke gave him to order a drink and then flirts it up with some older chick with horrible eyeliner. Who is this mysterious woman? Her name is Nikki, and she can do magic tricks with a set of matches and alcohol. She also used to work at the mall and has the key to the carousel. They break all kinds of laws (I'm assuming) and have sex on said carousel. In hindsight I really hope this isn't how Lucas lost his virginity because it's just so awful. Nikki is way worse than I thought (and I already thought she was bad) and this whole plot is just...gross. 

Karen is concerned about Lucas since, ya know, he just had his spleen removed like a couple days ago. She calls Peyton who hasn't seen him and also Brooke who is ignoring all her calls in favor of wearing a velvet track suit and eating Chinese food. Peyton goes over to Brooke's to ask for help and Bitch Davis is like, "Fuck you, I'm busy." B then realizes exactly where Luke is, the bar she took him, and goes with Peyton despite her current hatred for her former BFF. The bartender tells them about how Luke left with the Eyeliner Whore and Brooke is not surprised at all. I love this moment because you see another really human side of Brooke Davis. She says that she's the most hurt by what happened not because of what Lucas did, but because Peyton, her best friend did. Of course on the surface that sounds like a guy v.s. girl thing and how society gives women crap and gives men excuses, but I think Brooke might have a point here. She and Lucas had just started dating. Her and Peyton have been best friends forever. She didn't know what Lucas was capable of, but she thought she knew Peyton. Also, kudos to Pey for eventually breaking it off, but also, she let it on behind B's back for much longer than she should have. End rant.

Deb is keeping secrets from everybody because Dan is about to dig up a bunch of shit from her past. She eventually comes clean to Nate that a few years back she left Dan to be with someone else, but then came back. This scene is heartbreaking because Dan is clearly an emotionally abusive and manipulative father, and Deb left her only son with him so that she could escape. Nathan says, "No, Mom. You didn't come back for me. You came back because your fling ended." He goes on to describe how terrible that Summer was, and how he called her from help and she didn't help. Sorry, Deb. Your reign as the superior Scott parent has ended. Y'all are both disgusting humans. Poor Nate.

You know what else is terrible? An earlier exchange between Dan and Lucas. It's volatile in ways I can't even describe, which is probably why I didn't mention it before. Thinking about it makes me uncomfortable. I am deciding not to talk about it. 

Lucas comes home and apologizes to Karen, who is done with his bullshit. Lucas also goes to Whitey and encourages him to replace him while he's injured.

​Brooke makes fun of Peyton for "playing house with Jake Jagielski" and while I don't agree with every insult she throws Peyton and Lucas's way, she does have so many good ones. Jake invites Peyton stay after he returns from the wedding to enjoy some pizza and a movie and he's perfect. At the cafe, Sheryl Crow shows up wanting some coffee while Nathan and Haley discuss his decision to become emancipated from his parents. Haley freaks out in the most adorable way and Nathan captures a picture of her and Sheryl on his little tiny flip phone. God, a drama free of episode with Naley? The best.

Jake cleans up from his night with Peyton and finds a picture of Jenny she drew. Just then, someone knocks on the door. It's none other than the Eyeliner Whore asking him, "How's my daughter?" Cue daunting music. 

Favorite line: "As for excuses, you don't own me any. I'm not your girlfriend. And from here on out, I'm not even your friend." Bitch Davis shoots, and Bitch Davis fucking scores.
Worst character introduction: Nikki. Yuck. Eyeliner Whore.
Most annoying character: Deb. Pull yourself together. You are crumbling and it's an ugly look on you. 
Oddest guest star: Sheryl "One song per cup" Crow???
Random Observation: The way that Dan talks to Keith when buying his business is very similar to the mannerisms of early season 1 Nathan talking to Lucas. I'm so happy those two don't turn into these two. 

What did you think of the intro of Nikki? What's your favorite Brooke Davis insult? And mostly importantly, were Peyton and Jake robbed of a happily ever after? Tell me in the comments!

XOXO,
​Em

So I guess last episode was supposed to make us super emotional because everyone's favorite Scott brother (sorry Season 1 Nathan, you just aren't that great yet) was in a coma and recovering from a horrible car accident. But this episode actually had me MORE emotional. Why, you ask? Because turns out Brooke Davis and I have a lot more in common than I originally thought.

Let's just get right into it. Lucas is coming home from the hospital after having his spleen removed. His arm is also in a sling and the doctors aren't sure yet whether or not he'll ever be able to play basketball again. This is what we are supposed to care about after a nearly fatal accident, apparently. I don't give a shit about whether or not Lucas, who we haven't seen throw a ball in several episodes, plays again. I just want all of our main characters happy and healthy again.
​
Lucas and Karen are greeted at their house by a very happy Brooke Davis, who has decorated Luke's room to be a healthy healing space. Guys, she's so happy to see him, I cannot stress this enough. She's basically jumping up and down. Lucas looks less than thrilled (I've seen that look before and it kills) and Karen is glad that someone is treating her baby boy right. Seriously minutes later, he dumps her. This is where things get interesting for me, because I'm pretty certain that the breakup I just endured (with my bf of almost 2 years, not almost 2 months like Brucas) WAS THE EXACT SAME. Seriously. He said all the same things. It's as if he watched Chad Michael Murray tell Sophia Bush that they weren't working out and memorized the script and recited it to me. Here's the exchange word for word (disclaimer: not word for word at all):

Chad Michael Murray/ex-bf: I gotta figure some stuff out.

Sophia Bush/me: Of course! I'm here for you. 

CMM/ex-bf: I don't think that's such a good idea.

SB/me: *displays a look of shock and hurt*

CMM/ex-bf: We should spend some time apart.

SB/me: Are you breaking up with me?

CMM/ex-bf: I'm sorry.

SB/me: Not enough, apparently. 

​EVERYTHING HURTS AGAIN.

So anyway, my heart is broken all over again. Lucky for me, I, just like Brooke Davis, am a badass and also said some pretty ballsy things when my emotions were being toyed with for no logical reason whatsoever. He's so vague! And such an asshole! And then he goes kissing Peyton like two minutes later, which leads me to believe that all (most) teenage boys are dummies. Serious question for male readers: Do you all practice the CMM face in the mirror? Do you get all your breakup lines from One Tree Hill? Help me out, please. I'm so confused as to how this breakup and mine were SO damn similar.

Peyton and Haley (BFFs!) see Brooke crying in the mall, where she reveals that Lucas told her that he just wants to be friends. Haley gives Peyton the look of death because she knows the real reason for the sudden breakup. Brooke is trying desperately to be okay, and because she cares so much about Luke she wants to know how to best be his friend. Haley says, "Do pretty much what you were doing before, but without the sex." This is where I go WHAT? Because I totally believed (and still believe) that Lucas lost his virginity to Nikki (Jake's ex) later in the season! He hasn't slept with Brooke? Right? Am I wrong here, 'cause I think I'm right? Also: Why is it such a big deal that Haley is a virgin and wants to wait to have sex when Lucas and her are both virgins when the show begins? Y'all, I'm confused.

Lucas and Peyton spend the rest of the episode kissing and flirting and loving on one another. Look, good on him I guess for breaking things off with Brooke when he's really in love with Peyton. BUT the fact that he strung Brooke along in the first place just because Peyton didn't want him is terrible. Brooke is his number two, always. She always plays second fiddle to Pey when it comes to Lucas and it's unfair. Lucas disobeys his mama's orders and goes over to Peyton's house to fool around because he's a horny teenage boy. While there, he falls ill (BECAUSE HE ISN'T FOLLOWING DOCTOR'S ORDERS) and Peyton must take him to the hospital and call Karen. But who is Karen with? Her new friend, Brooke. B wants to be a good friend and so she comes over to chill with Karen and check up on Lucas. She is stabbed in the back so fucking hard.

Once Lucas is revealed to be okay, Peyton tells him that she can't do this anymore because she doesn't want to hurt Brooke. Jokes on her though, because her stupid webcam (seriously, we need to talk about this webcam) caught her and Lucas in a big lie. When Brooke went to check on Lucas, Pey's webcam was open on his computer, revealing that Peyton didn't just "bump into Lucas at the Rivercourt" like she previously claimed. The webcam showed the two of them together in her bedroom. Brooke tells Peyton she never wants to see her or Lucas ever again. The Bitch Davis era has begun, my friends. And I am here for it.

Also in this episode, Deb and Dan fight for custody over Nathan, who realizes both of his parents are pretty shitty individuals. Haley tells him about his rights, and that if wants to, he can actually become emancipated from them. He decides to move to the beach house with Dan for the time being, which is dumb but it's fine.

So friends, has anyone ever broke up with you in the same way that Lucas did with Brooke? Does it make your heart sink that this only breakup one out of three from these two? Who would you rather live with, Deb or Dan? And most importantly, who the hell did Lucas Scott lose his virginity to? Let me know in the comments.

Favorite line: "I don't know what hurts more. You sneaking around behind my back or you lying to my face." Brooke Davis, y'all. Go off.
Most relatable breakup: Lucas dumping Brooke. Asshole.
Funniest moment: Karen being confused as to who Lucas is dating because he breaks up with Brooke and then is with Peyton right after.
Random Observation: Even though she's the worst right now, you can really see the pain in Peyton's eyes throughout the episode. Shit is hitting her hard. It allows for the downward spirals she goes through to make total and complete sense.

XOXO,
Em

Get ready for sadness, friends, as we spend the entire episode in the hospital. Chad Michael Murray has a total of maybe two lines this whole episode, because he's in a coma and shit. The acting is actually pretty good despite how incredibly dramatic the situation is. And the funny thing, this isn't the worst thing that's going to happen to Lucas Scott while he lives in Tree Hill.

Everyone is freaking out once they learn that Lucas is in the hospital. Haley and Nathan are fighting, and her heart drops to the floor as she realizes that the last conversation she had with Luke was also a fight. Haley really does a 180 here, deciding that she was the one in the wrong and that she shouldn't have said all those cruel things to her best friend. Listen, I love Hales, I think she's one of the most consistent (minus season 2) and empathic characters on the show, but I really don't think she needs to feel quite as bad as she does here. Luke said just as many mean things, and he's the one cheating on his girlfriend. 

Which brings me to the awkward moment of Peyton and Brooke standing in Pey's bedroom, with Peyton getting ready to confess to her wrongdoings. Just as she's about to tell her best friend everything, B receives a call that Lucas has just been in a terrible accident and Peyton rushes her to the hospital. Okay, so I'm glad Peyton didn't decide to spill the beans right then and there and instead was a supportive BFF, but also this whole situation is just so messed up.

At the hospital, Karen learns from a police officer that Keith was drinking prior to the crash, and she is PISSED. She doesn't even want Keith at the hospital anymore, and any chance we thought these two lovebirds had is now very far gone. As much as I adore Keith, he is very much in the wrong here. We are all human and flawed, but the mistake he made was a pretty big one and now he has to pay for it. Quite literally. This man goes on to pay all the medical bills that the insurance wouldn't cover by lying and saying that he is Karen's husband. Daaaaamn. Talk about character redemption.

​Brooke meets Karen for the first time, and it's so much more adorable than I remember. Brooke is a babbling mess, and Karen is stunned that this is Lucas's girlfriend. On the surface she seems so preppy and flakey, but as they get to know one another, Karen realizes that Brooke is a huge sweetheart. 

At the Cafe, Haley tells Peyton that she can't visit Lucas because of their fight and she doesn't want to talk to Nathan because he's a jackass. Peyton is slowly crumbling here, because she feels awful for betraying her best friend and she knows that she's part of the reason that Haley and Lucas had a falling out. She takes it upon herself to approach Nathan and tell him that it would be beneficial if he encouraged Haley to go to the hospital to see Luke. He does, and has his own heart to heart with his brother. And guess what! Lucas wakes up!

Nathan gives Lucas water and alerts Karen that he is awake. On his way back from the hospital, he apologizes to Haley and tells her to go see Lucas. Haley finally goes to see her best friend, and breaks down at the sight of him. It's all so sad, you guys. 

Karen finds out that Dan was the one that brought Lucas to the hospital and thanks him by giving him a hug while he tries to defend his decision to allow surgery. Dan is the good guy in this episode and it's super weird, but also really nice. We also get a glimpse of Keith playing with the engagement ring he got for Karen. This is supposed to make us feel sad. It makes me feel angry that he screwed everything up.

As Karen arrives at her hosue for the first time since returning from Italy, she breaks down in tears because her life is kind of falling apart. Don't worry, Karen, things are going to pick up! And then they're going to get really, really bad again. That's the Tree Hill way.

Favorite line: ""So I'm here because everything's screwed up, I know you don't like me with Haley but I like her, alot, and she's hurting right now too. She needs you to open your eyes, she feels like she can't be forgiven and I'm sort of in the same place." Nathan to Lucas in the hospital room. They're becoming brothers for real. For real!
Cutest moment: Everyone decorating the River Court with notes to Lucas about how much they love and miss him. Also puts into perspective how crazy bad this car accident was.
Random Observation: Brooke assumes that Peyton doesn't want to go to the hospital because it's the same place that her mom died, and Peyton just lets Brooke believe that's the reason. Oh, Peyton Sawyer you are starting to get on my nerves like never before. 

Next time: The love triangle becomes absolutely unbearable.

XOXO,
​Em

Guys! Why do I remember the shit that goes down in this episode happening so much later in this season? I didn't think shit hit the fan so fast! But here I am, being proved wrong. Brace yourself, friends. We are about to go on a wild ride...pun completely and totally intended. I'm so sorry.

Karen's coming home, y'all! Moira Kelly's maternity leave must be up (that was crazy fast, right?) and Keith and Lucas can't wait to pick her up from the airport and give her all the hugs. One of these two Scott's is more excited than the other. I'll let you guess which one that is. As they anticipate her arrival, Keith goes around telling everyone "Karen's coming home! Karen's coming home!" and Lucas is galavanting through libraries with Peyton in tow, making out in front of the books (for shame!). 

Haley catches the two lovebirds in action and is rightfully PISSED. This is not the Lucas she grew up with. This is a very selfish, horny version. Haley addresses the issue head-on, telling Luke that he's a dumbass and cheating on Brooke (with her BFF, might I add) is wrong. The two of them then get into a huge argument about all the ways they've changed. Watching this back is actually infuriating. Lucas is completely in the wrong, yet he makes Haley feel like shit anyway. He tells her that "she's one to talk" since she's hooking up with Nathan. Okay, but like ??? Haley's not cheating on someone else with Nathan, she's dating Nathan, and things are going pretty okay. How are these two situations comparable? Why is Lucas being such a broody, moody asshole?

Peyton is starting to feel the most guilty about the whole thing, and it shows. Brooke and Lucas are supposed to come over later that night to help her redo her room, but other shit happens instead. 

Whitey is beginning to feel down in the dumps because this year has been really emotionally taxing on him, so he asks Nathan if he's made a difference to him at all. Nathan's lackluster answer sends Whitey spiraling, so Nate asks for Haley's help and the two go digging for some history on old Whitey and all the amazing things he's done. It's a very cute project for the two of them. Also in this episode, Haley gets a subplot of needing to pass P.E. She can't throw a basketball so her hunky boyfriend teaches her a thing or two. It's sweet. 

Later on though, Haley gets upset when Nathan confesses to only trying to get with Haley to piss Lucas off. I get why this bothers her, but also like...everyone already knew this? It was so obvious. It's adorable that he ended up falling for her, regardless. But it's hard for me to believe that Haley didn't think that Lucas had anything to do with it at all.

Dan keeps trying to win Deb back. It isn't working because Dan is a psychopath. He then flirts with some lady on the beach whose name is Carrie which creeps me out because of all the other Carrie stuff that goes down later in the show. She invites herself over for dinner and Deb comes to the beach house to talk to Dan and finds him with this stranger. He's all like, "It's not what it looks like!" and she's like "Yeah, okay." Needless to say, they don't reconcile, which is a good thing because these two are not a good match whatsoever.

Keith has so many jitters in preparation for the return of the love of his life, so he has a beer (or two? I dunno). Him and Lucas drive to the airport to pick up Karen when Keith makes the mistake of turning left on a red arrow. A car comes crashing into the passenger side, leaving Chad Michael Murray looking rough as hell (still handsome though). As luck would have it, Dan also happens to be at the intersection and comes to save the day. He drives Lucas and Keith to the hospital and delivers the most dramatic and heartwarming line of the season when the doctor asks if he's a guardian who can sign off on emergency surgery for Lucas - "He's my son." Whaaaaaaaaaat? Is Dan Scott...dare I say it...human?

The episode ends with Lucas in getting wheeled off to surgery and Karen waiting for someone to pick her up from the airport. It's actually super scary and anxiety inducing. I do not remember the first season of the show being this intense (aside from the end of it, which I definitely thought this way, forgive me though, Tree Hillers tend to spend a lot of time in the hospital). So far in 13 short episodes we've had kidnapping, drug use, and almost fatal car accident. Deep breaths, guys. This is just the beginning.

Favorite line: "He's my son." Dan to the docs. Of course for every one nice thing Dan does, he does like 5 awful things, but this is such a good character moment for him. He isn't pure evil. He's just mostly evil.
Stupidest fight: Lucas v.s. Haley. Not a fair fight. Poor Hales.
Worst decision: Keith's to drink before picking up Karen :(
Random Observation: I am so mad at Lucas and Peyton right now. Even though I end up loving them, I find it super hard to get back to that point. Their actions are so bad right now. I don't know how Brooke forgives either of them.

Were y'all as freaked out as I was during this episode? Tell me in the comments!

XOXO,
Em

Ugh. Lucas and Peyton what the hell are you doing? I'll tell you what they're doing; making terrible decisions. BROOKE DAVIS DESERVES BETTER AND SOONER OR LATER SHE'S GOING TO REALIZE THAT. But for now, we have to cross our fingers that another tragedy doesn't strike Peyton Sawyer's life and survive a very awkward birthday dinner for Dan Scott.

Anytime Brooke and Lucas interact around Peyton it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I feel bad for Peyton at the beginning of this episode and then I want to punch her in the face. Luke, B, and Pey are all about to fix an old car for her dad because pretty soon he's coming back to look after Peyton for more than a day at a time. But not before a hurricane could lead to his boat being lost at sea and him being gone forever. Oh shit. Not more bad news for P. Sawyer, she already has to watch her soulmate make out with her BFF. 

Peyton gets a call that because her dad's boat is lost at sea, she needs to go somewhere four hours away to identify a body. Lucas offers to take her and Brooke stays behind so she can watch the phone in case her dad calls. Brooke is very selfless in this episode. Despite Peyton showing sign after sign that she is also in love with Lucas, Brooke doesn't notice and instead trusts the two blondes to go on a trip with emotions riding high and a nice little motel room. I'm going to say it again, Brooke Davis deserves better.

In the other Scott universe, Dan is living at the beach house and Deb is living in the actual house with Nate when two old people show up at her front door. Who are these old people you ask? None other than the OG Mr. and Mrs. Scott. I don't remember Gerald McRaney (aka Dr. K from This is Us!) being Dan Scott's daddy! He's such an asshole here! Totally ruining the Dr. K vibes for me, but whatevs. Anyway, Dr. K and Mama Scott are visiting Tree Hill to celebrate Danny Boy's birthday. So instead of being upfront and honest, Deb and Dan pretend to still be together and host dinner with the fam.

Dr. K stops by Karen's Cafe to see Karen, but since she's still living it up in Italy he runs into Haley instead. Haley tells him what I just told you, and so he leaves and instead of giving Hales his name, he just asks her to tell Karen that an "old friend" stopped by. Because this is a DRAMA, Deb overhears and is perplexed. She had no idea that Dr. K was apart of Karen and Lucas's lives. Actually, I don't know that Lucas even knows Dr. K. But Karen sure as hell does. Deb looks super uncomfortable about the whole thing. But you know, The Scotts love their secrets.

Nathan brings Haley to dinner and she recognizes Dr. K instantly. They just kind of acknowledge one another as if they were strangers until Nathan later shares her interaction with him from earlier that day. Keith brings Whitey as his date, and everything is going okay-ish until they start talking about Nathan quitting basketball and Dan's college career. Turns out Mama Scott, whose name is Mae in case anyone was wondering, helped her son quit. He did suffer a knee injury, however, they (wait for it) LIED about the severity of it so it would take too long to rehab it and he would be done with basketball (playing it at least) forever. Mae delivers this line that absolutely kills, "He could've died because of this insane pressure to put a ball through a hoop." Dan's pissed. Dr. K (who didn't know any of this) is pissed. Keith and Whitey are like, "Oh shit." Haley is like, "Oh shit." Nathan is like, "I hate my family." And Deb is like, "Ohhhhhhhhhh shit."

So we realize that Dr. K is the root of the family drama and that the pressure he put on Dan turned into pressure put on Nathan which created a very messy family dynamic. Dan treats his mama like garbage despite her love for him and Nathan is kinda rude to Haley when she tries to be comforting. I've concluded that Nathan is very hard to read in this first season. Half the time I can't tell whether he is being genuine or not.

Back on the road, Luke and Pey discover that the road is closed until morning because of course it is and they have to spend the night in a shitty motel. This is way too romantic of a road trip in search of a possibly dead father. They manage to sleep in the same bed without doing anything dirty, and it's not until the next morning when Peyton finds out the dead body is not her dad's that her and Luke hook up. They almost make it back to Tree Hill without doing anything bad! But then Peyton thinks she lost her bracelet her dad gave her, so they go back to the motel and get real hot and heavy. They stop before all of their clothes are off because Peyton's hair gets caught in an (ugly) necklace that Brooke gave him. They then remember that Brooke exists. Not their shining moment as human beings.

When they get back, Brooke shares the good news that Peyton's father called and he is safe. She is so happy for her BFF and so happy to see her boyfriend and it just breaks my heart that they betray her so badly. I don't remember being this angry at them the first time I watched this. But I am very, very disappointed in these two.

Next up: Some serious shit goes down. Like, scary serious shit.

Favorite line: There's two. When Dan says to Deb, "I want to thank you for not throwing gas on the fire." Because...season 2....if you know, you know. And when Haley says to Nathan, "You shouldn't know that look yet." Because it's really cute that he can already read her and they're becoming a real couple.
Best guest appearance: Gerald McRaney! Dr. K! I don't like him playing the bad guy though.
Biggest betrayal: LUCAS AND PEYTON!
Random Observation: For real though, why is basketball so damn important to the Scott family?

XOXO,
​Em

Oh, Brooke Davis. How sad I feel for you and you don't even exist. Even though I totally agree that Peyton and Lucas belong together and are soulmates for sure, rewatching the show has me aching for Brooke. She adores Lucas Scott. She'd do anything for the boy. And yet in the end he just...I really can't get into this right now. I just can't. 

Anyway, the Scott family (Deb, Dan, and Nate) are attending family therapy and it is a hot mess. They're all talking over one another (expect Nathan, who looks annoyed beyond belief) and accusing one another of things. Everything's Dan's fault (probably true), everything's Deb's fault (also probably a little true). Therapy gets them nowhere. This should not be shocking to you, fellow rewatchers. Because the Scott family is broken and never getting put back together.

Brooke and Lucas are living their best lives going skinny dipping in strangers' jacuzzi. This is weird, guys. I mean, I guess good for them? But also this is mostly just really weird. If I had a hot tub and two teenagers just got in naked I would be severely alarmed and very pissed off. But I guess the owners' never find out? Also, I don't think the writers want us to think about it as much as I currently am. 

Guys, I feel like it's important to point out now that there are like no gifs that exist on the Internet from this specific episode. I have searched far and wide and have continuously come up short. I am exhausted, so the rest of this recap will be gif-less and I apologize for that. There's probably an easier way to find them, but I just don't know how. Okay, moving on now.

Haley and Nathan ditch school to go the Scott's beach house because they can. They cuddle and drink vodka from the bottle on the sand and it's all very high school. Eventually Dan catches them and is PISSED. Then, the iconic Haley James vomits on Dan Scott's pants. Watch this episode for this reason and this reason alone.

Even though Brooke and Lucas aka Brucas are living it up in other people's backyards, Brooke is feeling down because she can't seem to connect with Lucas on his broody level. She asks for help from Peyton, who does relate to his broodiness. Peyton gives her a CD to tell Lucas to listen to and screws it up when she tells him to listen to a song that doesn't exist on the track list. Oh, poor sweet Brooke Davis.

We meet one of three of Peyton's dads in this episode. He comes around so infrequently that they recast him every time he shows up in Tree Hill. Lucas tries to attack him with a rake, which is weird. Then they end up bonding hardcore which also makes Brooke uncomfortable because Luke fits in so well with Peyton and her family. By the end of the episode, Brooke is ready to break it off with Lucas because she isn't Peyton enough for him, but he says that's what he likes most about her, how un-Peyton she is (he doesn't say this). They kiss and make up. 

Oh! And Nathan decides to quit basketball in this episode. His family is driving him crazy and he was just caught taking drugs to improve his performance so he is pretty much over it. Whitey is not happy. Lucas feels oddly indifferent. Dan is about to be PISSED. 

Favorite line: "I don't want to see you change, I like you and I like the fact that somebody like you sees something in me." Nathan to Haley. My heart. 
Favorite moment: Nathan giving Haley a piggy back ride up the pier whilst they're both a little intoxicated.
Most relatable character moment: Brooke thinking she's not enough for Lucas and feeling insecure.
Random Observation: That therapy scene is SO awful. First of all, the room they're in is super empty and uncomfortable. Also, I think it would have been more beneficial had they gone to individual or couples' therapy before doing a family session. It's all very overwhelming and awkward.

And that's about it for "The Living Years". Question for y'all: Are you more Team Brucas or Team Leyton? Tell me in the comments. Also discuss how awful those ship names are.

XOXO,
​Em