In true One Tree Hill fashion, everything is kind of backward. So even though Nathan and Haley got married two episodes ago, the gang decides to throw bachelor/bachelorette parties after the fact. This is mostly due to Tim's self pitying; he's upset that he never got to plan a bachelor party (he thinks he would've been Nate's best man) and mostly he just wants to hire a stripper. I don't know that minors can even hire strippers...but I don't think that's the point of the episode.
While the boys plan their night of wild fun, Brooke takes it upon herself to throw Haley a bridal shower (which in reality is a just as a wild bachelorette party). You see, Brooke feels bad for spreading all those rumors about Haley being pregnant so she wants to make it up to her by showering her with gifts and attention. It's not a bad trade in, because nobody plans a party like Brooke Davis.
Keith is still working at the dealership for Dan, and offers Lucas a job there to make some extra cash. Lucas offers to help by taking paperwork over to the hospital so that Dan can sign it, but ultimately offers the job to Nate because he needs the money more. At the hospital, Dan is still being incredibly kind to Deb and Lucas, even going as far as to apologize to Lucas for his past actions. Lucas is very weirded out by this, and later finds saved pictures of himself as a child in Dan's lockbox. He later tells him that this doesn't change a thing, and they agree to try to work on things despite their horrible past.
Brooke rents out a limo for Haley's party, where Peyton blindfolds her as they await their next location. Not gonna lie, y'all, Season 2 Haley is my least favorite Haley. She becomes kind of aloof and self-centered and I don't love it. The first two episodes she was fine, but starting in this episode her attitude sort of shifts and she begins to get on my nerves. It's like there's a 'too good to be true' thing going on in the early stages of her and Nate's marriage and I guess just knowing what happens this season makes me upset. Anyway, they take Haley to a lingerie store where other girls from the cheerleading team are joining the adventures, and Haley has to dress up all slutty. It's harmless and fun.
Back at Nate's, the guys are playing video games and anxiously awaiting the stripper. Lucas shows up to join them, as well as Gary (Nate's boss from the pretzel place). They all are growing increasingly bored, so Tim pulls out a porno he stole from his dad. Turns out, it's just a sextape of his step-mom. Tim is the worst.
The limo "breaks down" while the girls are en route to another destination and Brooke is "freaking out". "Help" comes sooner than expected. Are you picking up what I'm throwing down with all of these quotation marks? The limo doesn't really break down, y'all. And the help is a stripper. He joins the ladies in the limo and they drive around town having the time of their lives. Their next stop is a strip club (Damn, OTH has a weird obsession with strip joints) where a stripper teaches a drunk Haley how to pole dance. She misses the pole though and falls on her butt. It's funny.
In one of the most cringey scenes in the history of this show, two female cops arrive at Nathan's apartment after watching Skills, Mouth, and Fergie bring in a keg. Tim mistakes the cops for strippers (yikes) and then hits on them (double yikes) and then proceeds to touch them inappropriately (triple yikes) resulting in him being escorted out of the apartment in handcuffs. Everybody else goes home, and Nate continues to play video games until a very promiscuous stripper shows up (she was late!). Nathan tells her that whole stripping thing won't be necessary and that the party is over, but she insists that she do her job. Instead they end up playing video games which seems very wholesome.
That is, until she gets all creepy and wants Nathan to sleep with her (Uhhh Ms. Stripper, Nathan Scott may be married but he is still very much a minor) and she tells him to meet her in the bedroom. He doesn't; instead we are shown with him in the bedroom reuniting with Haley when she comes home, where he tells her that he had to ask the stripper to leave (LOL).
The rest of the girls are stuck at the strip club washing dishes because Brooke's credit card has gotten declined. Brooke is freaking out, and insists that Haley go home and be with her husband and hopes that she had a night full of fun. Later, Brooke tries to take cash out of an ATM and is once again denied, which sends her into a panic.
Deb and Dan discuss Haley and Nathan's marriage again, and Deb wants to know how they should intervene. Dan says that they don't have to, that the marriage will self-destruct on its own. I mean, he's not wrong. It literally does. Lucas arrives at the Scott residence to tell Dan that he sucks, but ends up helping him inside as he struggles to walk on his own. I guess this is a sweet moment to end the episode.
Favorite line: "Isn't that what it's all about? If we're not out there looking for the one we want to be with forever then what are doing?" A very drunk Haley to Brooke and Peyton. It breaks their hearts. Poor babies.
Most annoying character: Deborah Scott. She is acting like a goddamn soap opera star. Everything that comes out of her mouth is so dramatic and I hate it.
Best Brooke Davis moment: She makes Haley a fake ID with the name "Trudy Gill" like Tutor Girl! So fun.
Random Observation: Keith goes to Karen's Cafe to tell her that they can't go back to the way things were between them before the proposal. It's a 30 second conversation. I'm wondering why these people don't just call each other. It would save them so much gas. He literally enters the cafe and then leaves a minute later. Like ??? He didn't even get coffee. Y'all, I understand it's a TV show, but for reals, gas is expensive.
Next time: Two of the most useless characters in the history of the show are introduced! Season 2 is kind of a let down as far as introductions and favorite relationships go, guys. But it's still enjoyable.
Dan Scott is alive and well and really positive and optimistic and out of character. It's really scary actually. I think I'm more at ease when he's being evil because we've grown to expect it, if he's being nice I feel like he's planning an attack at any time. Stay on your toes, folks of Tree Hill.
Brooke and Peyton are talking about the marriage of Nathan and Haley, with Brooke being absolutely certain that the reason for their union is because Haley's preggers. There's also a super weird B plot in which Brooke is setting up Peyton on this dating website (not app, 'cause it's 2004) called 'Lust Factor'. This storyline would most definitely not fly today. Brooke posts pics of Peyton without her consent, and guys rate her on her, you guess it, lust factor. Then they randomly show up later in the episode in a really creepy and stalkerish way.
Anyway, Brooke and Peyton go meet Lucas on the roof of the cafe where he tells them that he would like the 3 of them to be friends, and needs their help in planning a wedding party for Nathan and Haley. Lucas also assures them that he "meant everything he said" in the letter they BURNED. They quickly dismiss any comments about the letter (Peyton fake coughs her way out of it) and they agree to helping their 'friend' with the party.
Haley apologizes to Deb once again for not telling her about their plans to get married, but Deb rejects her apology and says some really mean things to poor Hales. Haley tells her about the party, and encourages her to stop by. Deb has officially reached a new level of stone cold bitchiness that not even Brooke Davis would be able to match.
Keith visits Dan at the hospital and since Dan is in such a happy go-lucky mood, they temporarily make amends and Dan allows for Keith to take over the dealership while he is recovering. Keith lets Lucas know that they won't be going back to Charleston, and Lucas, along with everyone watching is like, "Yeah, I figured." You really thought the main character of this show was going to leave? Ha! (This is once again a funny joke because of seasons 7-9, but who am I kidding? By Season 5 Brooke Davis is the real main character).
Ooh! Another subplot that is probably important to mention: Karen wants to go back to school and take business classes or something like that. This is worth mentioning because a character will soon be introduced through her schooling! Alright, that's it with Karen for now.
The party thrown for Naley is super duper adorable, complete with polaroids on every table and silly string and lots of laughter. Lucas confronts Brooke and Pey about not reading the letter. He can obviously tell by how chill they are acting around him. They confess to burning it (the delivery of that line is hilarious by the way) and Lucas is actually relieved to hear that. But like...guys...I still wanna read the letter.
Brooke keeps making jokes about Haley being pregnant, and how that is the real reason why she and Nathan got married. The thing is, Brooke is completely serious and full and completely believes that Haley is knocked up. Haley gets fed up and finally just shows her the birth control patch on her side. Brooke then realizes that Haley and Nathan are totally and completely in love and that's why they got married. You can tell how this both moves her and breaks her heart all in one.
Deb finally meets Haley's parents (aka the coolest people on this show) who have also just announced that they're getting an RV and hitting the road now that their baby is married. I mean, they have 7 kids, so why not, right? Deb starts off their encounter cordial, but then loses her shit and goes off on Lydia and Jimmy, telling them that they are irresponsible and crazy for letting two 17 year old's get married. Season 1 Deb! Where did you go? You used to be cool! And now you're kind of the worst!
Haley very quickly intervenes and tells Deb to stop being a little bitch and that her parents are angels and don't deserve to be talked to in that way. Deb leaves the party (Haley says, "I don't want you here!") and Nathan is a champ who sticks by his wife. Deb goes home and holds a picture of baby James Lafferty in the dark. It's creepy but it's also fine.
As the episode ends, Brooke hangs up a picture of her, Lucas, and Peyton once again, Karen looks in the newspaper for college classes, and Lucas fits Dan in the hospital. And Dan's all like, "I'm so happy to see you, son." And I get chills because this show has a way of being really dark and creepy at times and I love it but I also am scared.
So what do you think? Are Lydia and Jimmy crazy? What do you think Lucas said in the letter to Brooke and Peyton? And how do we feel about Lucas visiting Dan? Comment!
Favorite line: Y'all. The best moment of the whole damn episode is when Haley's dad gives this beautiful speech, "You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So what age do you have to be before your love is real?" I'm crying. No, I'm sobbing.
Favorite moment: Ms. Haley James (Scott!) going OFF on Deb.
Random Observation: The whole 'Lust Factor' subplot was so weird and slightly terrifying. You can add that to the list of storylines that would never fly in 2019.
Up next: Some post-wedding bachelor/bachelorette parties! Damn, this show really likes parties.
Welcome to Season 2 of One Tree Hill! Look how far we've come! We started the series with two estranged brothers (with the worst dad ever) going head to head in a basketball rivalry that doesn't really exist anymore! Now one of those brothers is married to the other's best friend, the other brother shaved his head and moved to Charleston, and their BFFs are two cheerleaders who have just reconciled after a falling out. Oh! And their dad is in the hospital after suffering a massive heart attack! Let's goooooooo!
Tree Hill decides to do another fake-out where they make us believe that Dan Scott has died and that everyone is attending his funeral. Deb is crying (AGAIN!) and mourning the loss of her ex (?) husband, until he comes back to life and exclaims, "You killed me, bitch!" and she snaps back into reality.
As the doctor tells Deb that the heart attack is not her fault, and that she did the right thing as long as she called as soon as she found her estranged husband. In flashbacks, it's revealed that she actually didn't call as soon as possible. She actually let him suffer for quite a while before calling 911, because he was being "the assiest-ass" (she really said this). So now she's got a lot of guilt looming over her because Dan has yet to wake up.
Nathan and Haley wake up as a freakin' married couple! I know it's so soon and I know everyone on the show rips them apart for it, but guys, they're Nathan and Haley. No matter what they go through (and they go through A LOT) they're perfect. They love each other. They want to make promises and keep them. And I admire them for it. They made a decision and they're sticking to it; plus being normal is so BORING. Yeah, they're 17 but who cares? They got Haley's parents' permission! They good, y'all. Always and forever.
Anyway, when they wake up Nathan gets a call from his mama that Dan is in the hospital. He and Haley get dressed and ready to go visit, but Haley pauses and is like, "Is now really a good time to mention to your parents that we're married?" And Nate is like, "Haley, you're my wife now. We are MARRIED." Suddenly Nathan has aged 20 years overnight. We'll see how this goes.
In Charleston, Lucas has shaved his head (because CMM shaved his head) and arrives on the beach with Keith and they're both like, "Yay!!! New start! This is the best day ever!" and then Keith's phone rings with the news about Dan and they promptly turn around and go right back home to Tree Hill. Actually, they stall a little bit because Dan is the absolute worst and they aren't in a huge rush. They make a pros and cons list. I think that promptly was the wrong word to use here. They definitely take their sweet ass time.
Brooke and Peyton decide to spend the day bonding and taking Brooke's dad's yacht and skinny dipping. They're back to being the best of friends and almost make it the whole day being drama free until Brooke discovers that Peyton has hid the letter that Lucas left for the both of them. Peyton claims that she only hid it to protect their friendship; she didn't want whatever was in the letter to tear them apart again. Brooke is real pissed at first, but is then forgiving and later that night they throw the letter into the fire without ever knowing its contents. Because it's not important. (But like, I really want to know what that letter said).
In more flashbacks, we learn how Haley and Nathan got married. In the last episode of season 1, we saw a conversation in which they talked about having sex for the first time after the playoff basketball game, but it turns out that they were planning to get married after the playoff basketball game instead. Nathan asks Haley to marry him after that romantic kiss in the rain, and she says she will as long as her parents are okay with it. This is where we meet Lydia and Jimmy James, who are the sweetest parents in the whole wide world. They are hesitant at first, but eventually come to the conclusion that if this is what their daughter wants, this is what she should get. Plus, Haley is the youngest of like 7, so they're probably ready to clean house.
Nathan and Haley get married on a beach in the daylight, and my brain hurts trying to figure out how this fits into the timeline or events we know so far. They tell Lucas they got married "last night" but they clearly got married during the day. Guys, I'm just so confused by all of this. Anyway, Lydia and Jimmy serve as their witnesses, and Nathan promises to love Haley "Always and forever" (ALWAYS AND FOREVER!) and they kiss and it's beautiful and I love it. Even if it's insanely odd for two 17 year olds to be getting married in the middle of their junior year of high school. But once again, being normal is stupid.
When Nathan and Haley get to the hospital they meet Deb in the church to comfort her. At first she's super nice, until she notices the wedding band on Haley's finger and a matching one on Nathan's. They confess that they got married the night (day?) prior, and Deb flips the hell out. She goes OFF. She tells Haley to shut up, tells Nathan that this news is going to kill his father. Like, Deborah, I'm sorry, but your son is freakin' EMANCIPATED from your stupid ass. You no longer get a say. Bye, bitch.
Haley goes to see Karen following Deb's blowout, and Karen is also very wary of their young marriage. She tells Haley she hopes that their love doesn't fade. This part makes me sad.
Deb is losing her damn mind in the hospital while Whitey is still recovering from surgery and being told that he needs to get a tumor removed. Karen goes to visit Dan and Lucas asks Nathan how his dad is doing. Haley goes into a panic after the reaction she received from Deb, and tells Nathan she can't do this and that they are too young. Nathan is a grown up once again and tells her that she loves her and that they are strong.
Lucas and Keith return to Tree Hill. Keith visits Dan at the hospital and Dan wakes up to him and Deb hugging, which probably makes him so happy given what happened days prior (in case you forgot, Deb and Keith slept together and it was yucky). Meanwhile, Peyton and Brooke are running around the beach like kids when the author of the letter they burned shows up unexpectedly.
Favorite line: "I could love you forever. So why can't forever start today?" Ugh, Nathan Scott you have my freakin' heart!
Assiest-ass: Deb. Her reaction to Naley's wedding is totally uncalled for. She could've voiced her disapproval without being so incredibly mean.
Best moment: Nathan and Haley getting married!
Least problematic adults: Lydia and Jimmy James. They're so chill. It's refreshing because all the other parents are crazy.
Random Observation: Someone explain the timeline of events to me! Rain kiss...ask for permission...basketball game...wedding? But it's sunny outside when they get married! And it's nighttime when the game ends! Help!
What are your thoughts on Nate and Hales getting married so young? What about Deb's explosion? Tell me in the comments!
It's season finale time, Tree Hillers! This episode is weirdly told in flashbacks, but it's SO GOOD. Like, ridiculously good. Are you tired of me saying good yet? Do I need to learn some new words? Are you sick of me stalling and want to get right into the episode? Fineeee. Here we go!
It's the night of the playoffs. This is the current time, by the way, before we get into flashbacks. Mouth is doing his thing and commentating on the game and I am distracted because there is a person sitting next to him that looks exactly like Haley James! She is wearing a jacket and has medium length redish/brown hair and keeps looking at Mouth as if she's his friend and I feel like this is a stand in? Like that person they have that looks like another actor from the back in case of reshoots and shit. But guess what? It's not supposed to be Haley! It's not a mistake! Because Haley shows up minutes later wearing a different outfit and sits next to Keith! But then why does this extra look so much like one of the main characters? Somebody help me figure this out please.
Dan Scott, our favorite asshole, approaches Haley in a flashback and tells her that she's maniuplating Nathan. Bitch, please. Then he goes to Deb, who is crying AGAIN (my complaints about Deb crying are probably unjustified given that I cry SO MUCH, but serious Deborah, stop it) about the divorce. Dan takes this time to tell her that the day she told him that she was preggers with Nate was the day he decided he was dropping out of school, not because of his infamous knee injury, but because Karen was back home and he loved her and she was also preggers because Dan Scott doesn't know what a condom is. That was a run-on, horrible sentence and I'm sorry. Deb is like, "Okay, nevermind you suck," and signs the divorce papers without a problem and dries her tears.
In more flashbacks, the aftermath of the Nathan/Haley porn fight is revealed. Peyton drives Haley home and waiting outside in the rain is none other than a very, very handsome Nathan Scott waiting for her. He professes his love for her and apologizes for sometimes being a jackass. He gives the first of many wonderful Nathan Scott speeches and they make out in the rain and even though it's pouring, it looks so fucking romantic. I. LOVE. IT.
Then they go back to his apartment and ALMOST have sex, but then seemingly agree to do it the next day after the basketball game. I don't know about you, but planned sex kind of weirds me out. It's almost not romantic. But you know what? Our precious Haley James is still a virgin, and she is romantizes the hell out of this so we're gonna let her just do her thing. Naley is at their prime here, y'all.
Back in the present, the game is starting and Lucas isn't wearing a name on the back of his jersey. This is important because at least one person is taking a public stand on how absolutely disgusting of a human Dan Scott is. I don't know much about basketball so all I can say is that the game starts and the boys run up and down and then we get more flashbacks.
This time it's a flashback to the bar, the Brooke Davis bar. I've decided that the only logical explanation for this bar is that it's actually all ages (cut to Pey and B later drinking what looks to be pop surrounded by other people their age) and that Brooke's fake ID is the reason she is able to drink underage. Anyway, not important. What is important is the ultimate fakeout that the Tree Hill writers try to pull on us! They make us believe that Brooke hasn't really forgiven Peyton, and that she is going to tell Nikki Jake's whereabouts for revenge. But it isn't so! She gives her a fake address (Seattle, to be exact. Jake is in Savannah, Georgia in case you forgot). Nice try, writers. Brooke Davis is a bitch, but not a backstabbing one.
In more flashbacks, Nathan and Lucas are hanging out and bring Whitey a basketball with the team signatures on it as a good luck present as he prepares to undergo eye surgery. All I can tell you about this scene is that Nathan wears a hideous matching pale blue sweatshirt and shorts. It is a tragedy. It should not be allowed. I've included pictures because you must see how terrible this is. Why? Why, 2004? Why were you like this? Also my boys are bonding again and I adore it. CMM, please teach your little brother to dress better.
The game starts being played again (this is a joke because of the episode title, please laugh) and oh no! Something bad happens! One of the guys on the other team purposefully hits Luke in the shoulder, the same shoulder that was injured in the car accident and he's been nursing back to health. He falls to the ground and a fight ensues, led by Nathan, because nobody takes down his older brother! The doctor takes a look at it and advise that he sit out the rest of the game, but Dan is like "Nah, it's fine". Lucas decides he wants to play, which is dumb but also understandable, and so he does.
There are still more flashbacks, if you can believe it. In this next one Lucas meets Haley in a creepy graveyard because...friendship? He then tells her that he's leaving Tree Hill because he fucked up so bad with Brooke and Peyton and because his dad is the wooooorst. Also, because Tree Hill is the place where bad things always seem to happen. He doesn't say this, but I feel like it largely contributed to his reason for leaving. Haley is so sad, but Luke reminds her that she has Nathan, and he likes Nathan now, which means she is allowed to date him. Again, he doesn't say this but this has been his attitude all season so I'm pretty sure that's his take on things.
At the game, Dan encourages Nathan to make the final shot because of his own selfish reasons, but Nathan believes in his big bro, so he passes it to Luke, who misses the shot and ends up losing the game for them. It's real sad and disappointing and Dan is PISSED, but it's just basketball and it brought two estranged brothers together so Dan Scott can shut the hell up.
That night, Dan returns home to see Deb, who we saw earlier in a horrendous velvet track suit talking with Keith. As Dan walks through the door he sees the two of them sleeping by the fire, naked, 'cause they just had sex. Oh, Keith. Why? And oh, Deb.. Why? This show is so incestuous and it makes me very uncomfortable. Not everyone has to sleep with everyone, writers! Dan is rightfully disgusted and angry, and promptly walks right back out the door.
The next day, Dan is signing the divorce papers alone in the beach house when he falls to the ground having what looks to be a heart attack. Because the timing on this show is so good, Deb walks through the door seconds later, crying and ready to apologize for sleeping with his brother. She finds Dan, who even in his dying moments threatens Deb saying, "You better hope I die." Classic Dan Scott.
Lucas drops a letter off on Peyton's doorstep, addressed to both Brooke and Peyton. He then makes his way to Nathan's apartment to say goodbye to Haley. Nathan greets him, but Lucas is shocked to see Haley walking out of Nathan's bedroom in nothing but a towel, meaning that she and Nate had sex the night prior. He tries to leave, but Nathan asks him to stay while Haley finds Nathan's sweatshirt to put on. Because Lucas always has to have control of Haley and her relationships for some reason, goes off on her about how she was waiting for marriage to have sex and that she once again isn't acting like herself. Then Naley drops the biggest bomb of all.
They did wait until marriage.
They got married last night. Whaaaaaaat?
Season 1 concludes with Lucas and Keith leaving Tree Hill and some voiceover from Luke about Ravens as they are seen flying overhead. The end.
Since this is the end of the season, I've decided to do some overall 'favorites' to end this blog post!
Favorite episode: This is actually way harder to pick than I thought. I guess I really love, "The Search For Something More" because it's a great episode for Nathan and Haley and also handles a really mature topic (rape). I also love this last episode because of all the different intertwining stories and tied up loose ends, yet it still ends on a cliffhanger.
Favorite character: I always thought that Haley was my favorite season 1 character, and she might still be, but I think Brooke Davis ties with her. I used to think that she was such a bitchy party girl in the first season, but she actually goes through a lot, and ends up doing the right thing most of the time.
Favorite couple: Come on, it's Nathan and Haley. Nobody else even compares this season.
Favorite friendship: Nathan and Lucas. I love that these two end the season as friends.
Favorite recurring character: Jake Jagielski! Too precious for this world.
Favorite fashion statement: It's a tie between all these velvet tracksuits and Nathan's blue on blue combo from this episode.
Thanks for rewatching Season 1 of One Tree Hill with me! Let me know all of your favorite moments in the comments! Now onto Season 2!
Everybody's having a rough day in Tree Hill. Whitey's having eye surgery and can't coach the first game of the playoffs, Lucas learns that Dan originally asked for custody of him, Brooke and Peyton lose Jenny to Nikki at the mall, Jake has to deal with his psycho ex fighting for custody of his daughter, and Nathan gets busted for bookmarking porn websites on his computer. Let's dive in, shall we?
After Dan told Lucas that he wanted custody of him, Luke runs to Mama Roe to ask if he's telling the truth or just being Dan. She tells him that he actually is being truthful and that she didn't want him to have custody because she thought it was in Lucas's best interest if he wasn't raised by, ya know, a douchebag. She also knew about him having Nathan, so she just didn't want to put him through all that. So normally I'd be totally Team Karen, however, once we learn that she never even told Keith about Dan's wish, I feel like she's kind of shady. Yes, Dan Scott is absolute trash, BUT the reason he is such trash is because nobody ever gives him a chance! Like, don't give him custody but at least don't lie about him asking for it.
Brooke and Peyton are back to being BFFs and I'm so relieved because the fighting was exhausting to watch. They go to the mall with Jenny because Jake has to work. While they talk and shop, Nikki comes up from behind them and steals Jenny out of her stroller. She tells Peyton that she's an untrustworthy babysitter and then just walks off with her daughter like it's nobody's business. Listen, I think the most alarming thing about Eyeliner Whore is that she's always so calm and collected when she's being a crazy bitch. She's just like, "What? This is my baby. Bye, guys!" Even though she's a terrible person and Jenny's safety is very much at risk.
Haley borrows Nathan's computer to write her English paper, and while on the Internet she discovers that he has tons of porn sites bookmarked. She has a look of severe disappointment and later brings it up to him telling him that she can't compete with that. This is where Haley gets relatable in my eyes. She even says that she's not a prude, but the idea of Nathan fantasizing about porn stars and then getting her is unsettling. It's an insecurity thing. And they end up fighting because of Nathan's neutral attitude toward it. He just is like "dudes like porn". Like, dude, we know that, but we want you to say "You're so much more beautiful blah blah blah" and then maybe not fucking bookmark the websites? Thank you.
Jake comes to the mall and confronts Nikki, who brings Jenny back in her calm manner and says, "I told you I was just taking her shopping." He storms off with his daughter angry at Peyton and Brooke for being so careless with his child. I can't say that I blame him, but also, Eyeliner Whore is crazy and needs to be stopped. Peyton later apologizes to Jake and he confides in her that he has to leave town to get away from Nikki.
Time for: Emily's Thoughts on This! I have so many conflicted feelings. So let's start with some simple math. Jake = good dad. Nikki = bad mom and person and Bar Slut. Jenny = innocent child. These are just the facts. Obviously I'm hardcore team Jake and believe that if Nikki sued him for custody, he could have a lot of damning evidence to prove that she is a psycho bitch. However, the mall incident doesn't look great in his favor. He also brings up a really good point about how the courts usually side with the birth mother. BUT, with all that being said, I think him taking off with their daughter is going to look WAY worse in court that the mall thing. This looks reckless and crazy. But, nevertheless, I do not get to make decisions for these characters, so Peyton helps Jake get on a boat to Savannah, Georgia (don't tell Nikki!) and says her goodbyes. Don't worry, y'all. We'll see him and Jenny again.
Due to Whitey's absence, Dan has taken it upon himself to coach the first playoff game. Whitey is like, "Please don't," but then Dan does it anyway because he's crazy! Lucas is still recovering from his injury (ya know, where he almost DIED?) and Danny boy just does not care at all. He works him way too hard, resulting in him vomiting on the court. Gross gross gross. BUT all this awfulness by Dan leads to Lucas and Nathan bonding hardcore, in fact, they've been getting along really well since Whitey made Nathan help Luke get back in shape. I LOVE IT!
Nathan and Haley are almost on the right track...until she discovers saved pictures of Peyton in a towel on his computer. C'mon, man. We all know how much he loves Haley, so they aren't recent, but he really should've deleted them a long ass time ago. Be smarter please! (Spoiler alert: He does not get smarter for quite some time, neither of them do) So Haley's very upset about the pics of her new BFF and she's worrying about not being enough and she says "I gave you my heart" and I'm like, "Did he give you a pen?" (Only Say Anything fans will know) and then she leaves and I THOUGHT they made up in the rain before the end of the episode but I am sadly mistaken.
Deb signed the divorce papers in this episode, in case anyone cared. I know you didn't, but I had to mention it.
At the end of the episode, Karen goes over to Keith's to say goodbye and make a long speech about their lives, and then Lucas changes the course of the show (jk) by saying that he wants to go with Keith to Charleston. He wants a fresh start. Oh no! The show can't exist without CMM! (JK again, seasons 7-9 were just fine! Clay and Quinn for the win! Unproblematic favorites!) Okay and that's just how it ends. I thought a lot more happened, but I'm so wrong. A lot of shit happens in the NEXT one though and in the one after that. The timeline of all these events is seriously messing with my head. I think I must've watched it too quickly the first time.
Favorite line: "So now that Lucas has outslutted the both of us, are we back to hoes over bros?" Brooke to Peyton. Brooke definitely has the best lines on this show.
Saddest moment: Peyton saying goodbye to Jake and Jenny. I'm so proud of her for helping him (in his dumb decision) because she wants what's best for him. #Robbed
Best bonding between characters: Nathan and Lucas! My babies!
Random Observation: I am so sick of the Dan and Deb divorce. I hate them both. Who do you hate more? I mean, honestly. I know we all hate Dan, but DEB. She's becoming the WORST.