The councilman is struggling, y'all. As if we didn't already know that Randall had chronic anxiety (untreated, I might add), this episode really cements that. It's a little redundant, in my personal opinion, but it also goes to show that not all heroes wear capes, and not everyone is as strong (whether it be mentally or physically) as they want to be.

SPOILER ALERT: IT'S BEEN A MINUTE SINCE THE EPISODE AIRED BUT AS ALWAYS, IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED SEASON 4, EPISODE 11 "A HELL OF A WEEK: PART ONE" (I'M REALIZING NOW THAT THE PART ONE IMPLIES THAT THERE WILL INDEED BE A PART TWO TO THIS STRESSFUL SAGA) PLEASE DON'T READ ON OR YOU'LL BE AN ANXIOUS MESS FOR NO REASON AT ALL. THANKS!

Last week's episode ended on a horrifying note when Randall found an armed man in his home. He says, "I won't let you get past me," which is a pretty ballsy move because I would've for sure either 1) screamed bloody murder OR 2) started crying hysterically begging for this man to take my shit and leave. Randall throws some money at the man (he has a money clip @ John Mulaney!) 

The man ends up leaving and Randall calls the police and it's all very hard to watch knowing Beth along with their three daughters were all sleeping in the house. I'm sitting here like; how did this man get in? Why doesn't Randall, a city councilman leaving in a nice house in Philly, not have a security system installed? I truly believe he takes on too much, and the flashbacks of this episode prove he's been that way his entire life.

Randall calls Kevin to process what just happened, and Kevin informs him that he's back in Pittsburgh for Sophie's mom's funeral (that's why she called, y'all!). Kevin asks Randall where he was coming home from since he said he was at the airport, and Randall has to lie to his brother about their mother's derailing health. It's a nice scene between two brothers, so I'll give the episode that.

Before I forget, I should mention that when Randall calls Kevin later in the episode to talk, we see Kevin in bed with a blonde haired woman. If it's Sophie, God help us all. I'm sure we'll find out next episode though.

In flashbacks to the college years, or the beginning of the post-Jack era, Randall and Rebecca chat as she does her son's laundry. He tells her he's been having nightmares, but of course he doesn't go into much detail about them because he's Randall and he's the man of the house and he's the new Jack Pearson. Back at school, Randall uses Beth as his safe haven, often having her stay the night so he can fall asleep. Randall and Beth are goals at ALL ages.

Kevin and Sophie come home early for Becca's birthday dinner, and Randall and Bec witness Kate throwing flowers into the garbage and fighting with her mysterious older boyfriend, Marc. The way they argue is so true to older Kate's character; it sounds like she's pleading with him and apologizing for nothing, something present-day Kate would do.

Teen Beth suggests to Teen Randall that he address his grief about his father in a group setting. After all, both Beth and Randall lost their fathers around the same time, but while Beth seems to have made peace with her father's death, Randall is still obviously reeling from it. They plan on going to a support group, but just then Randall gets a call from Kevin saying that they (being him and Rebecca) are on their way to pick Randall up because something is wrong with Kate. Dun dun dun.

So, once again, Randall doesn't get the help he needs and he pushes everything down in an effort to make everybody else's lives easier and better.

In the present-day, Randall is distracted at work because he is terrified that that man is going to break into his home again. The police informed that they usually strike two nights in a row because families usually don't stay in their homes. His phone keeps going off due to the security system being installed, and he can't seem to pay attention or listen to anyone. He comes home to have a panic attack in his bathroom, and I'm like, bro, I would've had one in the bathroom at work.

Beth tells Randall that they need to take the day after the Town Hall to talk about all of this and he agrees. While getting ready for the Town Hall Meeting, Beth's earrings seem to have been stolen as well as Randall's cuff links. Randall figures that the man came into his room, which sends him spiraling even more. At the meeting he can't even articulate answers properly.

The next morning he goes running and runs (ha!) into Malik's dad who is like "bro, do you do anything to help with your shit BESIDES running?" and Randall is like "no". Malik's dad tells him to go to therapy and Randall is like "ok but first I gotta save this woman from being robbed" AND HE DOES IN THE BROAD DAYLIGHT. That's literally all I have to say about that because it's too much for one episode.

Anywho, to wrap up, there's a scene in this episode where Jack, pre-sobriety, gives a three or four year old Randall a pep talk before bed. Randall can't fall asleep in his big boy bed and seeks Jack's help. Jack tells him that Kevin and Kate are high maintenance, and so Randall is going to have to do everyone a favor and not be high maintenance. He's going to have to be the tough one, the strong one, the dependable one. It's not Jack's finest parenting moment, because look at the mess it has created. But it's a good reminder that these characters are humans, and humans are allowed to make mistakes.

So that's it on this episode! It makes me sad to see such an able man like Randall not get the help he needs, and I hope he does soon. What did y'all think? Comment!

XOXO,
Em

You guys!!! TV is back! More specifically, This is Us is back! I wanted to love this episode, y'all, I really did. But I just didn't. I was really feeling the first maybe 20 minutes and then it lost me. 

SPOILER ALERT: YOU KNOW THE DEAL, IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED SEASON FOUR, EPISODE 10 "LIGHTS AND SHADOWS", STOP READING NOW. BUT IF YOU'RE JUST AS TIRED AS ME AND JUST WANT TO KNOW WHY THIS SHOW HAS MADE ME SO SAD, GO AHEAD AND KEEP ON READING.

Okay, so first thing's first; I thought we explored the beginning of Jack and Bec's relationship enough. And I don't mean like their whole relationship, I just mean the very beginning where her father doesn't approve and takes Jack to a country club and basically relives that one episode of Gilmore Girls where Richard takes Luke golfing only we get to see it here play out in like eight different episodes. The trope is tired; I just want to see Jack and Bec happy or maybe see the moment he proposed to her or early moments in their marriage. I don't care that her parents didn't want them together because I know they end up together. Enough.

Side Note: Did anyone else feel like Rebecca's mom's speech about Jack was totally out of character? I don't know if that was due to Becca's failing memory or what but it just seemed really off.

Big Three Fail of the Episode #1: Kate and Toby argue about LadyKryptonite, whose name we learn is actually Kara. He says he just vents in his CrossFit group chat to blow off steam, but Kate feels weird about it. She decides to throw his (probably Aqaurius) ass a Jimmy Buffet themed birthday party, but is disheartened to learn that Toby no longer goes to the gym with all those she invited. He switched gyms two weeks ago. Why? Kara tried to kiss him.

Kate handles herself really well this episode, which doesn't happen often, but I'm thankful that it did. She calls Toby out for avoiding being home with her and Jack, and when he confesses that their blind son just makes him sad, she can't even look at him. She says she booked them all a trip to a retreat for parents of blind children and he says something about how he can never watch Star Wars with his son. Whatever, dude. I guess this is less of a Kate fail and more of a Toby fail, but her marriage is failing nonetheless.

Big Three Fail of the Episode #2: Guys! I was so freaking excited too see Sophia Bush back on my TV screen. I ADORE Sophia Bush. So when I heard she was playing a role in Kevin's story I was over the moon. Needless to say, I am not longer over the moon.

Kevin hires a matchmaker because he has that whole plan to be engaged and have a kid by the time he's 40 which is in like, nine months. When the matchmaking doesn't go as planned, he meets Lizzie (Sophia Bush) in a coffee shop and they immediately click. Their chemistry is adorable and I want her to have his Pearson babies. Lizzie explains that she's from Chicago and she's on a business trip, meaning she can't stay. So Kevin, always the romantic, plans this amazing first date where he takes her to an empty Hollywood Bowl to see her favorite musician, John Legend. 

He tells her about the great romance that was Jack and Rebecca, and for a second it starts to feel too good to be true. She keeps getting calls and texts from her mom, and I'm thinking maybe something's wrong back home. But when Kevin kisses her, she finally confesses; she's married and he is nothing more than her celebrity hall pass. Her mom calling? Nope, that was her husband telling her to go for it. Booooooo.

So I guess we won't be seeing more Sophia Bush around or Jennifer Morrison, or anyone that would make an adorable couple with Kevin. Instead as Kevin heads to set that night we watch as he gives his cell phone to an assistant just as an incoming call reads "Sophie". BOOOOOOOO AGAIN.

I! Am! Done! With! Kophie! I'm all for a further explanation into what went wrong in their marriage, but why not parallel that with Kevin meeting the right girl and having SOMETHING good happen? No more Sophie. Get out. You've had your chance. This storyline is dead and tired.

Big Three Fail of the Episode #3: The third and final fail of the episode comes from Randall. He's the only one that knows about Mama Pearson's declining health, and has been asked to keep it that way. He flies to wherever it is that Becca and Miguel live now and goes to the doctors with them. Miguel is a pain in the ass and is super rude to Randall, and as always Randall questions the authority and intelligence of medical professionals which irks me to no end.

We don't learn much about Rebecca's health, only that she's showing signs of memory loss and it needs to continue to be monitored. Miguel apologizes to Randall and takes Bec home to watch World of Dance. I'm now realizing it's been almost four seasons and I still hate Miguel because I have absolutely no idea how they became a couple. Literally no idea besides that Facebook message he sent her. 

Randall goes home and there's this really long sequence of him saying goodnight and checking up on each of his daughters, including a lingering shot of him kissing Beth goodnight and telling her he's going to go downstairs and grab a glass of water. As he does, he sees a hooded man with a knife standing in his living room. Dun dun dun! But actually literally terrifying.

Final Note: That John Legend song was kind of catchy.

Final Final Note: After 10 years, Mandy Moore is finally releasing a new album! As someone who listens to her 2007 work of art, Wild Hope, all the damn time, you could say I'm pretty excited!

What did y'all think? Are you just as bummed out as me? What's next? Tell me in the comments!

XO,
​Em